Bananananza!

Dear DC Diary,

Today, I realized something in the DC. Since the beginning of school my banana consumption has increased exponentially. This is a recent development, even though my love for the banana [and other phallic, potassium rich foods] is as timeless as the DC itself, for some reason I just have been eating more of them lately.

It is well known fact that DC is the premier hotstop on campus for "hooking up" with single strangers and potential drunk sex partners, but I cannot help noticing that special single stranger I met at that baseball TH party in the first week. Whenever I see him in the DC, I always want to talk to him, maybe while waiting to get froyo and granola or for a caprese panini to grill. My best gal pal P-bear turns me today, she turns to me and says, "You know ______ there _____ __ _____ is, you should go talk to him." I turns to her and I says, "Nah I bet he doesn't even remember me. I'll just go get a banana."

It was then that I realized my great finding. My sexually frustrated conscious has been turning to my subconscious and being like, "You know I need some dick!" then the subconscious is all like, "well bananas are like dicks" so now I'm jonesin for some potassium cum all up in my cereal.

xoxo Docktopus